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David Beckham – he’s looking bizarre again!

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Is there anything less attractive than the man who fancies himself rotten? Step forward yet again Mr David Beckham, who has somehow been talked into one of the silliest magazine covers of his career.

If you haven’t seen the July Elle cover before now, take a good look at Mr Beckham’s oddly arching brows and stiff pose as he ripples his torso for our delectation. I rather like Beckham generally – he seems a genuinely nice bloke. But his Achilles heel, increasingly exposed in all kinds of unflattering photoshoots and brand extensions, is his over-reaching vanity.

The ‘just out the pool’ look in wet jeans is a bigger cliche than the ‘game of two halves’. You can just imagine how it was sold to him: ‘Hey David, you’re so handsome, such an icon and stud, the whole world will want to have sex with you after this shoot. Just saunter out of the pool real moody and sensual, like you want to ravish the camera, your jeans wet against your crotch, muscles tensed like a caged animal released and ready to pounce. Work it David, work it, oh yeah, oh yeah! Now, come on, wiggle the eyebrow, up, higher, higher, that’s great, baby, you’re so hot!’ (Or, er, something like that).

Here’s another version of the cover below…

Vanilla Ice, looking remarkably like David Beckham

There have been rumblings in the press for some time, but on the back of these pics, it’s undeniable – Beckham is spearheading an ever-growing band of over-preened, botoxed, spray-tanned men, willing Kens in search for their very own Barbies who are destroying my faith in Real Man (by whichI mean Tom Selleck). Honestly, I’m all for confidence, fitness, hygiene and care over appearance – hell, I demand it! – but gentlemen – yes, you lot pictured below here – I have to tell you this is going to far.

Please everyone (and this includes us girls) can we all go back to the time when good looks were the added bonus in life, not the Holy Grail itself?!

Shane, we all preferred the double chin, mate!

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5 comments on “David Beckham – he’s looking bizarre again!”

  • Liz Lock June 7, 2012

    Very strange shift in perception of what is ‘male’ – am I showing my age?????? Anyway blow Elle the magazine – look at the Elle video of Beckham’s photo shoot, more importantly, the music behind the shoot – “we should be swimming” by local band Zulu Winter – bassist from our own lovely village, drummer from Risborough. Up and coming – could be a little biased but I don’t think so!

  • mummyinmanolos June 6, 2012

    It’s put me off buying the magazine…but then so did a silly comment from the editor this weekend – there’s no such thing as perfect thank god….life would be dull if there was x

  • jean tippet June 4, 2012

    There’s no denying he’s a fab looking bloke but those arm tattoos are just hideous!

    • Muddy Stilettos June 4, 2012

      There’s something going on with the eyebrows that starts with a b and end in an x that is ruining it for me!


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