David Beckham – he’s looking bizarre again!
Hmmm, you’ve reached an older feature - let’s get you up to date! Read our latest Hero's Blog features here.
Is there anything less attractive than the man who fancies himself rotten? Step forward yet again Mr David Beckham, who has somehow been talked into one of the silliest magazine covers of his career.
If you haven’t seen the July Elle cover before now, take a good look at Mr Beckham’s oddly arching brows and stiff pose as he ripples his torso for our delectation. I rather like Beckham generally – he seems a genuinely nice bloke. But his Achilles heel, increasingly exposed in all kinds of unflattering photoshoots and brand extensions, is his over-reaching vanity.
The ‘just out the pool’ look in wet jeans is a bigger cliche than the ‘game of two halves’. You can just imagine how it was sold to him: ‘Hey David, you’re so handsome, such an icon and stud, the whole world will want to have sex with you after this shoot. Just saunter out of the pool real moody and sensual, like you want to ravish the camera, your jeans wet against your crotch, muscles tensed like a caged animal released and ready to pounce. Work it David, work it, oh yeah, oh yeah! Now, come on, wiggle the eyebrow, up, higher, higher, that’s great, baby, you’re so hot!’ (Or, er, something like that).
Here’s another version of the cover below…
There have been rumblings in the press for some time, but on the back of these pics, it’s undeniable – Beckham is spearheading an ever-growing band of over-preened, botoxed, spray-tanned men, willing Kens in search for their very own Barbies who are destroying my faith in Real Man (by whichI mean Tom Selleck). Honestly, I’m all for confidence, fitness, hygiene and care over appearance – hell, I demand it! – but gentlemen – yes, you lot pictured below here – I have to tell you this is going to far.
Please everyone (and this includes us girls) can we all go back to the time when good looks were the added bonus in life, not the Holy Grail itself?!