Muddy tries Sculpsure, non-invasive fat-blasting. Yes, I’m serious.
Through this door (or if we’re being truthful, around the corner where it’s less obvious) is the S-Thetics clinic in Beaconsfield, winner just three days ago of Best New Practice South England and Wales at the #myfacemybody awards at the Park Lane Hilton.
Those who read Muddy regularly know that I have an uncomfortable relationship to the idea of injectables and too much faffing with what nature intended – in my case a large case of crow’s feet and an arse the size of Thame. That said, I’ve plenty of friends who adore botox and all power to them.
My own self-improvement criteria is about being non-invasive. Last year at S-Thetics I happily tried a Fire & Ice treatment that made me look about 15 by firing an electric current at my wrinkles. Then a few weeks ago I went one better with Sculpsure, a high tech treatment being touted as a non-invasive liposuction. S-Thetics is the first clinic outside London to have it, and it’s quite the beast. Check it out!
Sculpsure is still relatively new, even in the States from whence it has come, but with over 50,000 successful treatments so far through 1000 clinics and no dodgy side effects, the more cautious Brits are now taking it on. It’s all fully FDA safety approved, with technology still designed to shake up the fat, but instead of jigging it around and then sucking it out in liposuction with its surgical risks and lengthy recuperation, this bad boy laser blasts through the epidermis through to the fat without upsetting the layers above it, and destroys up to 24% of the fat cells forever. And get this – it does it in 25 minutes.
The cost is worked out on a per area basis and works best for those with a BMI under 30, so it’s really for those with stubborn areas of fat that refuse to disappear even with exercise – think muffin top, back fat, side saddes, bingo wings or even c-section scarrers, with the classic ‘lump’ under the scar, all of which I happily qualify for.
A plastic ‘frame’ is attached to whatever area needs blasting. There are four individual lasers that attach to the plastic frames and each one costs £250. So if you’re after your tummy area being sorted and you’re average size, it will cost you £1000-2000, though you get better results after two treatments six weeks apart so you might want to double that figure.
As usual I amazed myself with my entire lack of foresight into what a treatment like this would involve. Just as when I rocked up late to the stunned surgeon for laser surgery on my eyes with a jaunty ‘So what does this actually involve?’, I entered S-Thetics having barely thought about what was going to happen. It’s blasting 24% of my fat, it ain’t going to feel like a massage!
First things first though and credit where it’s due – S-Thetics is a beautifully appointed clinic, tasteful, modern and with serious credentials – its owner Sherina Sherina Balaratnam, above, is not only Aesthetic Practitioner Winner of Highest Stilettos (South East Region 2015 & 2016) but almost as importantly is a former NHS surgeon with 6 years of plastic surgical training.
Sherina is massively professional and you really do feel safe in her hands – she’s the sole practitioner at S-Thetics to perform this treatment and she’s also tried it herself so that she really understands how it feels. ‘And how does it feel?’ I hear you asking. Well, as you’d expecct when you’re zapping 24% of your lovingly honed fat cells. Frankly it’s uncomfortable. Not in a bikini wax kind of way. In an early stages of labour kind of way. It’s not in any way a relaxing, rejuvenating or zoning out treatment. I’m the only person stupid enough to think it might be.
My skin felt so warm I was sure it was on the verge of burning, but then something on the surface of the laser would cool it down again and I’d be OK. Basically it was a rollercoaster of hot and cold for 25 minutes while Sherina chatted away taking my mind off the discomfort. Time went quite quickly in fact, one go isn’t that onerous. However I also went for a blast on my ‘flanks’ for a further 25 minutes which did test my theory that I can handle any pain post-kids.
A bit caveat to all my whinging – if anyone is actively paying £2000+ for a treatment like this, they’re not going into it with fun in mind. It’s a means to a very important, thought-through end. I haven’t parted with my money to try this, but if I had, I’d totally be gritting my teeth and getting every pound’s worth. You’d have a far more pragmatic, practical mindset than my slightly flaky blogger’s one.
How do I look two weeks later? Well, initially I had some lumps pop up on my tummy which was a bit freaky but having read up on it is perfectly normal – as the fat cells die they disappear so now things look fine (huzzah!). I felt a bit bruised too, as if I’d woken up the day after doing 10,000 crunches (well, I did as ‘as if’).
Surprisingly I can already see a real improvement in terms of ‘sticky-outness’ but it’s a 90 day treatment so I’m not even half way through so the signs are very positive. I have another session before Christmas and in the six weeks after that I should reach my optimum result, at which point I’ll give you the final verdict. But it’s fair to say your grand cynic is unusually impressed so far.
In the meantime, if you want to read more about this groundbreaking treatment it’s on the S-Thetics website and as ever let me know your thoughts.
S-thetics. Marlborough House, 45 Wycombe End, Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, HP9 1LZ. Tel: 01494 670990. sthetics.co.uk
Want to see the Fire & Ice review at S-Thetics? It’s a goodie!