‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ – you likey?
There are times when the kids are screaming, the washing is piling up, work is going crazy and popular culture just passes me by. GRRRR, very annoying because I love all that stuff.
Months later I usually find the time to pour a large glass of wine, sit down, and catch up on what’s been going on. Which is what happened earlier this week when I managed to find the time to search ‘Bitch I’m Madonna video’ on google (yeah, yeah I know it’s been out for a while!) and watch Madge working through her celebrity Roladex to solve her recent credibility issues.
Firstly I should thank my 12 year old son who kept telling me how Madonna’s latest video was horrifically awful. After some journalistic prodding, I discovered what he meant by ‘awful’. What he meant was… ‘old’. He found it was incomprehensible that at 57 she was cavorting around with pink hair and strange knickers, and partying down the longest hallway in history.
But in defence of granny Madge, it’s hard to tell how old because her face doesn’t actually move in this video. No smile breaks the pouffy pillows of her face . She’s wearing clothes I couldn’t squeeze my buttocks into even in my teens, and she’s snogging men young enough to be her children. Pervy in principle until you realise that if she’d given birth at 16 they’d be 41.
Having become fed up with Madonna’s increasingly desperate shock tactics over the last few years, all that Miley snogging and breast exposing, I’m rather pleased with his new turn – a bit of flesh, granted, but more dancing, more fun, and let’s be honest, more interesting distractions, with Rita Ora, Kanye West, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Nikki Manaj and others paying homage to Madonna’s 30 years in the biz by appearing in the video. Beyonce even does a spot of Vogueing.
I don’t like the song much as it happens (not much of a tune, as my father would say!), but as often with Madonna the song is only part of the equation. So is she still relevant? Yo bitch, watch the video and you be the judge!