A rant about breasts
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I haven’t had a ratty rant since the deification of Kate Middleton for the extraordinary achievement of managing to give birth.
But yesterday I happened to be clicking idly through some stories on Vogue.com when I came across a full-blown feature about how boobs are trendy. I mean, a whole article about it, a journalistic feature crafted with quotes from models and bookers and all sorts, making serious comment about the re-emergence of nature’s greatest accessory, and I’ve been kind of simmering about it ever since.
And as my mother likes to say, better out than in. So this is what I think.
Body shapes go in and out of fashion, we all know this, but what rankled for me in this feature was the wonder of it all – the incredible breaking news of pert bouncy breasts on the cover of Vogue for the first time in years! Breasts on Hollywood leading ladies! Knockers on the catwalk! – along with the implication that, hey, don’t get too comfortable with those squidgy little fellas on your chest, because in two seasons time the fashion winds might change direction and it could be straight back to the ironing board with you.
I’m neither gloriously endowed or boyishly sexy. I’m normal, slightly over fighting weight, with a pair of breasts that I’ve grown up with and rather like. I’m delighted I’m suddenly in fashion but would really rather that body shape per se doesn’t enter the the ‘what’s fashionable’ debate.
We’re at a stage in fashion design now where everything goes – it’s convenient for fashion editors to group ‘trends’ and interesting to read them too, but we all know that a maxi dress is as acceptable as jump suit, that monochrome is just as striking as florals, and cotton can be as sexy as silk.
The point of fashion, to me anyway – and I say this in theory as I am typing this wearing incredibly unglamorous jeans, cruddy t-shirt and sandals – is that you find the clothes that suit your body, not angst that your body in two seasons time won’t suit the shape of your clothes. Otherwise you’re in danger of sending young girls straight for the Slim-Fast aisle which is plainly disastrous.
So there you go. Rant over. Yes, thanks for asking, I feel a lot better for it!
Over to you, what do you think? You can comment in the box below.