Things I’ve learnt about love
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People often stop me in the street and say, ‘Hero, what’s the secret of your incredible marriage?’. Since it’s Valentine’s Day today I thought I’d share some of my tips for a fulfilling relationship.
1. Compromise, what compromise? People say it’s the backbone of a healthy relationship but in the Muddy house we prefer things the traditional way – force of personality, one-liners, strops and sulks. It’s more fun, and at least one of you gets your own way.
2. Time together, time apart. I always wonder what it must have been like for Paul & Linda McCartney, not spending a single night apart for 15 years. A drudge probably. Mr Muddy and I like to escape from each other whenever possible. I’m off on girl’s weekend in the sun in June. He’s on a rugby tour of Italy. However, we do have a date together every week – to escape our children!
3. Who’s there? Perfect the art of the mental airbrush. Take a look at your partner, shave 5 inches off in all directions and attach hair where appropriate – HOLD THAT THOUGHT! HOLD IT… HOLD IT… – and you will be instantly transported to the time when you first met.
4. Romance. Never mind anniversaries and Valentine’s Day, Mr Muddy and I live in the moment, surprising each other with everyday thoughtful gestures, such as: You don’t need to cook tonight (I want a curry); home made birthday cards (because I forgot to buy one on the way home); I’ll run you a bath (so you’re out of the way while the rugby’s on). I’ll babysit tonight (because I have something big planned in a few weeks time that you really won’t like).
5. Plan your future. Do you have a 5, 10 or 15 year plan? We do. It’s called the Pauper Plan. It involves flights for five to New Zealand (Mr Muddy’s side of the world), private school fees, oil heating, proper food (no horsemeat thanks) and the occasional posh meal in the big smoke. We also have another plan called The Escape Plan that involves grand theft and moderate violence but best not to discuss it here.
Anyway, I hope that’s been helpful. Happy V-Day one and all!