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Wouldn’t you though?

VogueApril-mcqueen-paul-bowden-b_320x480I’ve been using the same perfume for 25 years – how sad is that? I’ve talked to quite a few of my friends about it, and they all seem to rotate about four or five different scents, so I’m feeling very olfactorily analog at the mo. But regardez vouz this striking new Alexander McQueen perfume that has piqued the Muddy curiousity and tempting me to park the Chanel for the summer.

It’s been 10 years since the disruptive, brilliant McQueen brought out a fragance, and this, the third for the label, is Sarah Burton’s first as head designer. I’m a big fan of Burton who clearly loves her fashion history, having researched the shape of the bottle using the V&A archives. It looks like some kind of gloriously gold-leafed feathered hand grenade, ready to detonate a brutal tickle under the nose. I also detect some low notes of *cough* Old Spice bottle shape, but maybe that’s best left unsaid (oops).

I’ve had a sneaky preview sniff of this parfum thanks to some old journo friends, and I can tell you that the scent base is white flowers – jasmine, tuberose and ylang-ylang. Vogue describes it as having ‘the grandeur of a huge oriental or a bold chypre’ (nope I don’t know that word either). Apparently the addition of amber ‘gives it an exceptional, unexpected luminosity’. Truly, it’s joyful phrases like this that make me wish I had chosen the the career path of a beauty editor.

Would you like some further elucidation? How about this description from the brand itself? The McQueen parfum is ‘the story of a woman who is luminous by day and seductive by night, the woman who thrives on her own elegance, intelligence, and power…’ (OMG, that it totally me!!!!)…. ‘McQueen is her signature scent as her new beauty emerges from the dark, like light breaking through the trees as she comes into her own perfect day.’ I mean, that’s quite uncanny because just this morning I woke up looking like Jennifer Laurence clutching a winning lottery ticket.

Perfume advertising has become quite the in-joke in the Muddy household because it’s so utterly ridiculous – Miss Dior taking the biccy as Natalie Portman hangs off a ladder underneath a chopper in haute couture before somehow vapourising herself into the cockpit for a bit of slap and tickle. Though Charleze Theron climbing up a rope through the Duomo without breaking a sweat comes a close second.

The initial launch for McQueen is teeny tiny – not in marketing budget which is clearly huuuuuuuge. No, just the size of the bottle. It comes in one titchy size, reflecting those days gone by when perfume was a rare commodity. To balance it out, the price is a stonking £285, available exclusively at – where else? – Harrods. But seriously, what price for a guaranteed perfect day?

McQueen parfum

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