Bucks &amp; Oxon


<p>Wycombe Abbey’s academic reputation needs little introduction. With consistently strong results and pupils heading off to top universities, high expectations are very much part of the culture.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Jacky-Tidbury.jpg" alt="Director of Wycombe Abbey Sixth Form, Jacky Tidbury" class="wp-image-202217" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Jacky-Tidbury.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Jacky-Tidbury-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Jacky-Tidbury-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Jacky-Tidbury-400x267.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>But for Jacky Tidbury, Director of Sixth Form, excellence is about far more than grades. After 20 years in education, she takes a refreshingly grounded view — one that values academic success alongside balance, curiosity and how girls treat one another. We caught up with Jacky to talk ambition, everyday excellence and why being successful shouldn’t mean being stretched to breaking point.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-excellence-is-one-of-your-core-school-values-but-what-does-that-look-like-in-everyday-school-life"><strong>Excellence is one of your core school values &#8211; but what does that look like in everyday school life?</strong></h3>



<p>For me, it’s much more about everyday habits than headline moments. Yes, you might congratulate a girl on an amazing university offer in the morning &#8211; but later that evening you’ll see someone being kind to a younger girl in the boarding house and that matters just as much. Excellence is about how you conduct yourself, whatever you’re doing &#8211; in the classroom, on the sports pitch, on stage or just around school. It’s modelling good behaviour daily, being the best version of yourself and not just ticking someone else’s idea of success.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-parents-often-equate-excellence-with-results-how-do-you-define-it-more-broadly"><strong>Parents often equate excellence with results. How do you define it more broadly?</strong></h3>



<p>We often talk about results as an&nbsp;<em>academic passport</em>&nbsp;&#8211; they open doors, and of course they matter. But they’re only one part of a much bigger picture. Our girls work incredibly hard for those grades, they don’t just glide through and results don&#8217;t always show the effort and progress behind them. Beyond the syllabus, we’re developing curiosity, flexibility and resilience &#8211; the things that actually future-proof them. Employers and universities see endless identical applications. What stands out is emotional intelligence, integrity, and being able to think on your feet. Excellence on paper isn’t enough on its own.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-27-1000x667.jpg" alt="Jacky Tidbury, Director of Sixth Form at Wycombe Abbey with some sixth formers" class="wp-image-201973" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-27-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-27-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-27-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-27.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-you-maintain-high-expectations-without-tipping-into-pressure-or-burnout"><strong>How do you maintain high expectations without tipping into pressure or burnout?</strong></h3>



<p>Honestly? Often the pressure comes from the girls themselves. They want to do <em>everything</em> brilliantly &#8211; academics, sport, music, debating &#8211; you name it. A big part of my job is saying:&nbsp;<em>Where’s the joy? Where’s the downtime?</em>&nbsp;Especially in Sixth Form, learning to structure time doesn’t mean filling every minute with work. In fact, that jump from GCSE to A level often comes with more free time, and learning how to use it well is a big part of the transition. It means knowing when to go to the gym, have a chat with friends, or flop on the sofa without feeling guilty. We also rely heavily on relationships and know the girls well. They need to feel they can say, “I don’t know where to start,” without judgement. None of us are perfect &#8211; and modelling that as adults is crucial. They’re not machines, and acknowledging that is a huge part of preventing burnout.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-30-1000x667.jpg" alt="Pupils at Wycombe Abbey" class="wp-image-201988" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-30-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-30-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-30-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-30.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-does-excellent-pastoral-care-look-like-in-a-large-boarding-school"><strong>What does excellent pastoral care look like in a large boarding school?</strong></h3>



<p>It’s partly about structure, but also about community. Our boarding houses mix year groups, so girls naturally look out for one another. Being around pupils at different stages helps them step outside of their own stresses &#8211; Year 12s deep in exam mode are supported by younger girls, and older pupils often help calm nerves during junior exam season. There’s also a wide network of adults — house staff, matrons, tutors — so everyone has someone they trust. And because we know the girls well over time, pastoral care isn&#8217;t just reactive. You start to spot pressure points early and adapt before small issues become bigger ones. Communication matters too, particularly with parents. Girls are often very capable and quick to move on, while home only hears the wobbles — part of our role is helping bridge that gap and reassure everyone when things are actually going just fine</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-how-do-you-support-bright-ambitious-girls-who-don-t-fit-a-single-academic-mould"><strong>How do you support bright, ambitious girls who don’t fit a single academic mould?</strong></h3>



<p>We often say there’s no such thing as a “typical” Wycombe Abbey girl &#8211; and it’s true. In one cohort you’ll find an army scholar, a drama school applicant and someone heading for a very niche science course. What binds them isn’t a single pathway, but ambition and a desire to do well in whatever&nbsp;<em>their</em>&nbsp;field happens to be. Our role isn’t to steer them down a single path, but to give them the confidence and space to find their own. That authenticity really matters — it’s about recognising what you actually enjoy and excel in, rather than chasing what everyone else is doing. If the interest is there, the girls tend to go for it, whether that’s starting journals, running societies or discovering a passion no one saw coming &#8211; like bee keeping! If they’re interested in something, we want them to have the confidence to go for it. There’s a real freedom here to be curious without fear of judgement, and that’s incredibly powerful. The girls are remarkably supportive of one another — often genuinely in awe of each other’s interests. That kindness and lack of judgement makes all the difference.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-role-does-boarding-play-in-developing-independence"><strong>What role does boarding play in developing independence</strong>?</h3>



<p>The lovely thing about boarding is that it naturally develops independence, often more quickly than at home &#8211; but always with a safety net underneath. By Upper Sixth, the girls are all living in Clarence House, cooking for themselves in communal kitchens, managing budgets and doing their own laundry. It means that when they get to university, they’re not also learning how to live away from home for the first time. One thing that can worry parents is the idea that independence means being left to cope on your own &#8211; and that’s not the case at all. There’s always a strong support network around them. Independence here isn’t about being thrown in at the deep end, it’s about knowing when to ask for help. Recognising when you’re struggling and being able to say, “I’m not sure what to do — can you help me?” is the real life skill. We also deliberately nudge girls out of their comfort zones in small, supported ways, so that confidence and independence build gradually, not all at once.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-28-1000x667.jpg" alt="Girls at Wycombe Abbey" class="wp-image-201981" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-28-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-28-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-28-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2026/02/Untitled-1500-x-1500-px-1500-x-1000-px-1000-x-1500-px-28.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-which-skills-matter-most-for-girls-leaving-school-now"><strong>Which skills matter most for girls leaving school now?</strong></h3>



<p>Flexibility, above all — both intellectual and emotional. The world they’re stepping into is changing fast. They need to be able to think critically, adapt their mindset and avoid becoming too dogmatic in their views. That ability to engage calmly and respectfully &#8211; to disagree agreeably &#8211; really matters, especially in what can feel like a very polarised world. You don’t have to agree with everyone to move forward, but you do need to be able to listen, reflect and hold your own view thoughtfully. For girls especially, confidence is key. No one is going to hand them a seat at the table — they have to claim it. Our girls genuinely believe the world is their oyster, and that sense of possibility is so important. But that confidence has to sit alongside integrity and responsibility to others. Pushing yourself shouldn’t come at the expense of kindness or self-awareness. Being capable&nbsp;<em>and</em>&nbsp;kind goes a very long way. I want our girls leaving school as people others enjoy working with — confident, emotionally intelligent, and able to recognise that they’re part of something bigger.</p>



<p><strong>How do you encourage leadership without creating entitlement?</strong></p>



<p>It comes back to one of our other core values: service. Having that broader purpose really matters, because it reminds the girls that it’s not always about them. In a boarding environment especially, you’re constantly aware of others — your role within a group, a house, a classroom — and you learn to listen, to be mindful that other people may be dealing with their own challenges. I often say to the Sixth Form that many of them would make brilliant heads of house, charity prefects or head girls — but not everyone can hold a formal role, and that doesn’t mean you’re not leading. Even without a title, you’re modelling behaviour all the time. Younger girls look up to you, and you have a responsibility for how you conduct yourself and the impression you give. Leadership is about understanding the wider impact you have within the community. The girls here are very fortunate — there’s no getting away from that — but that doesn’t remove the expectation of basic standards. Having great opportunities is only part of the picture; what really matters is what you do with them, and how you use them well. That sense of responsibility is vital.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/06/Wycombe-Abbey-1.jpg" alt="Wycombe Abbey" class="wp-image-164350" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/06/Wycombe-Abbey-1.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/06/Wycombe-Abbey-1-800x534.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/06/Wycombe-Abbey-1-400x267.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-has-your-own-understanding-of-excellence-changed-over-time"><strong>Has your own understanding of excellence changed over time?</strong></h3>



<p>Absolutely. Early on in my career, excellence felt much more singular — it was about results, about how well my classes or department were doing. Over time, and especially in my role now, I’ve come to see it in a much broader way. For me, excellence is about holding yourself to high standards and modelling that for others — and that doesn’t mean being perfect all the time (thank goodness, because I would fail at the first hurdle). It’s about conducting yourself in a way that means you’re trying your best, to the best of your ability, at that moment. We’re not all on our A game all of the time. But excellence now means academic success&nbsp;<em>and</em>&nbsp;how you treat others, how you contribute, and how you enrich the world around you. Giving as much as you can to your endeavours — within and beyond the classroom — is what really matters.</p>



<p><a href="http://wycombeabbey.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>Wycombe Abbey</em></a><em>,&nbsp;Frances Dove Way, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, HP11 1PE.&nbsp;Tel:&nbsp;</em><a href="tel:01494%20520381"><em>01494 520381</em></a><em>.</em> <em>For info about the sixth form, see <a href="https://issuu.com/wycombeabbey/docs/sixth_form_brochure" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">here</a>.</em></p>



<p><a href="https://bucksoxon.muddystilettos.co.uk/kids/school-reviews/wycombe-abbey-high-wycombe/"><em>Read our review</em></a><em>&nbsp;of Wycombe Abbey&nbsp;</em></p>


Rethinking excellence: why results aren’t the whole story

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