Bucks &amp; Oxon


<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool.jpg" alt="A Level results" class="wp-image-168105" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool-800x800.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool-400x400.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool-500x500.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Credit: Instagram @roedeanschool</figcaption></figure>



<p>Casting your mind back to the weeks leading up to your child&#8217;s GSCEs or A-Levels is an exercise best undertaken with caution. Watching them fumble around their revision timetable, attempt 30 minutes&#8217; work in front of the TV while chatting to a friend (&#8220;I&#8217;m asking her a question about a topic!&#8221;) and ignore your advice about revision techniques (e.g., &#8220;Just bloody do it&#8221;) was a pretty painful process.</p>



<p>Maybe you didn&#8217;t bathe yourself in parental glory in those stressful weeks, but for those of us waiting for GSCE and A-Level results this month, now is our chance to shine, with a little help from Muddy&#8217;s Parents&#8217; Guide to Surviving Exam Results. Here&#8217;s how to do do the right thing by your kids, with thanks to the local professionals who, unlike me, actually know what they&#8217;re talking about.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-control-your-disappointment">Control your disappointment</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/Examsagain.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-168171" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/Examsagain.jpeg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/Examsagain-800x800.jpeg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/Examsagain-400x400.jpeg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/Examsagain-500x500.jpeg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p><em><strong>Dr Kai Thilo, chartered and registered clinical psychologist and partner at <a href="http://oxfordtalkingtherapies.com/psychotherapy-couples-individuals-oxford/6-kai-thilo" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Oxford Talking Therapies</a>, a group of cognitive-behavioural psychotherapists across Oxfordshire.</strong></em></p>



<p>&#8220;If your child comes home with worse than expected results, the chances are they’ll be bothered by them, even if they’re not showing it. You may also be feeling pain, frustration, anxiety or anger, but stop and ask yourself: &#8220;Is this helpful how I’m about to respond right now?&#8221;, and &#8220;Is this a real crisis or am I catastrophising?&#8221; If your mind is telling you this is a disaster or difficult, it’s because a core value that you uphold – for example, wanting the best for your children, worries about financial security, or social anxiety associated with their perceived ‘failure’ – has come under stress. </p>



<p>I’d suggest reading two books by Dr Russ Harris: <em>The Happiness Gap</em> and <em>The Confidence Gap</em>. Both of these offer a number of techniques to rein in your mind and not act on your own anxieties, and they&#8217;ll help you to avoid shooting the messenger! When you’re 80 years old and reflecting on your life, do you think your child’s A-Level results will feature highly in your memory? Or that high A-Level grades predict happiness in your child’s forties and fifties?</p>



<p>If the answer is no, then pause for a moment. Recognise that your evolutionary mind is warning you about something dangerous (which is fine), but that you don’t need to react to that perceived threat at that moment. A perspective shift is helpful in these cases and the chances are that a few hours later, or by the next morning, things will be a bit less raw.&#8221;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-it-s-ok-for-them-to-be-grumpy-or-sad"><strong>It&#8217;s OK for them to be grumpy</strong> or sad</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/DeanCloseSchool.jpg" alt="A Level results day" class="wp-image-168108" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/DeanCloseSchool.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/DeanCloseSchool-800x800.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/DeanCloseSchool-400x400.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/DeanCloseSchool-500x500.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Credit: Instagram @deancloseschool</figcaption></figure>



<p><em><strong>Jane Barker, pyschotherapist and counsellor at <a href="http://www.thametherapyclinic.co.uk/therapies/jane-barker/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Thame Therapy Clinic</a></strong></em>.</p>



<p>&#8220;If your child has had a disappointing set of exam results and is is angry, grumpy, a bit rude or non-communicative,&nbsp;try not to take it personally. Half the time this is just normal adolescent behaviour anyway. Give your child some space to come to terms with their results and acknowledge it&#8217;s a difficult time for them. They will be speaking to their friends and will probably turn to them for support as much as you. So, if they&#8217;re on their phone all the time try not to get frustrated &#8211; hard though it is for us, this is how young people&nbsp;relate to&nbsp;and connect with others. They&#8217;re not&nbsp;necessarily playing computer games and zoning out.</p>



<p>&#8220;If&nbsp;you&#8217;re finding it hard to talk to an uncommunicative or difficult offspring, find another way to show unconditional love so they feel supported at home. It might just be making a dessert they like, buying them something special, or simply making an effort not to force a conversation they don&#8217;t want to have. Adolescence is period of readjustment for the whole family and when bad exam results also enter the picture, it&nbsp;can feel&nbsp;even more complicated. Perhaps both parents and child will be thinking: &#8220;What will they do?&#8221;, &#8220;Where will they go?&#8221;.</p>



<p>Usually, exam results are not the end of the world and new doors open as others shut. If the teenage grumpiness and anger develops into something more serious &#8211; perhaps they begin to&nbsp;isolate themselves from their peers,&nbsp;sleep badly, lose weight or start behaving in an uncharacteristically listless way, this is when alarm bells should ring. Otherwise, show them you love them regardless of manners, exam results and their behaviour around the house and it will be all right.&#8221;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-hatch-a-plan">Hatch a plan</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/StBenedictsSchool.jpg" alt="A Level results day" class="wp-image-168109" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/StBenedictsSchool.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/StBenedictsSchool-800x534.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/StBenedictsSchool-400x267.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Credit: Instagram @stbenedictsschool</figcaption></figure>



<p><em><strong>Kris Hunt,&nbsp;managing director of <a href="https://www.notgoingtouni.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Not Going To Uni</a>, a website dedicated to helping school and college leavers make informed decisions.</strong></em></p>



<p>&#8220;There are plenty of other options out there if your child hasn’t managed to achieve the grades they were hoping for. Firstly, re-sits: if your child wasn’t far off the desired grades, you can request the papers to be remarked. You do have to pay, but you&#8217;ll receive a full refund if you find the mark has changed. It may be possible for your child to re-sit straight away, depending on the education board.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Other options? Apprenticeships are considered a real job. Employers respect them, and employers are more likely to offer a job after an apprentice has completed an apprenticeship with them.&nbsp;Traineeships last from six weeks to six months. They can be an ideal opportunity for young people motivated to get a job/apprenticeship but who lack the skills and experience employers are looking for.&#8221;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Consider switching schools</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool2.jpg" alt="A Level results day" class="wp-image-168110" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool2.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool2-800x800.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool2-400x400.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/RoedeanSchool2-500x500.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Credit: Instagram @roedeanschool</figcaption></figure>



<p>If your child’s school has posted less than ideal GCSE results across the board, or you don’t think it’s the right fit for your family, consider making the switch ahead of A-Levels to give them a fighting chance. <a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/life/parenting/debretts-education-consultancy-help-choose-school-children/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Debrett’s Education</a> offers bespoke school searches at all levels, fine-tuned to your priorities, and will approach new schools on your behalf. Plus their initial consultation is totally free, so you can get a taster without putting your hand in your pocket. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>Get clued up</strong></h2>



<p>It might well be that sparkling A-Level results are not required for the corner of the job market where your child will thrive. But as a parent it&#8217;s not easy to navigate the enormous (and rapidly changing) world of paid employment when you&#8217;ve been beavering away in corporate accounting for 24 years. So bring in the professionals. <a href="https://www.careerscollective.org" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Careers Collective</a>&nbsp;is a group of experienced, independent careers consultants who offer coaching, online and face-to-face workshops and downloadable guidance to help steer children and graduates towards a happy and productive working life.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><strong>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed&#8230;</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/OxfordSixthFormCollege.jpg" alt="Oxford Sixth Form College" class="wp-image-168173" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/OxfordSixthFormCollege.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/OxfordSixthFormCollege-800x800.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/OxfordSixthFormCollege-400x400.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/08/OxfordSixthFormCollege-500x500.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Credit: Instagram @oxfordsixthformcollege
</figcaption></figure>



<p>If long-held dreams of being a brain surgeon are starting to fade courtesy of a dispiriting percentage in chemistry, don&#8217;t panic &#8211; because retakes are an option. <a href="https://bucksoxon.muddystilettos.co.uk/kids/school-reviews/oxford-sixth-form-college/">Oxford Sixth Form College</a>, <a href="https://greenesoxford.com/">Greene’s College</a>, <a href="https://www.oxfordmontessori.co.uk/1-year-gcse">Oxford Montessori</a> and <a href="https://www.cherwell-college.co.uk/cherwell-college-oxford-courses/one-year-fast-track-courses">Cherwell College</a> specialise in single-year GCSEs, A-Levels and B-TECS to help get your child where they need to go.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-if-all-else-fails-hit-the-botanicals"><strong>If all else fails, hit the botanicals</strong></h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="667" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/12/Sky-Wave-Gin-LBB-SkyWave85.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-140127" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/12/Sky-Wave-Gin-LBB-SkyWave85.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/12/Sky-Wave-Gin-LBB-SkyWave85-800x534.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/12/Sky-Wave-Gin-LBB-SkyWave85-400x267.jpg 400w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/bucksoxon/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2020/12/Sky-Wave-Gin-LBB-SkyWave85-787x525.jpg 787w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>While alcohol is no remedy for life&#8217;s difficulties (that&#8217;s a slippy slope none of us need to go down), a gander at Muddy&#8217;s <a href="https://muddystilettos.co.uk/drink/quaff-club/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Quaff Club</a> is something all parents can get behind on the countdown to GSCE and A-Level results. A chilled glass of rosé with a cocktail chaser to steel the nerves, anyone? Hopefully, you&#8217;ll be celebrating rather than commiserating though.</p>


The parents’ guide to surviving exam results

You may also like