Bucks &amp; Oxon


<p>January: cold, dark and the peak month for splitting up. Yep, it&#8217;s divorce central post-Christmas and it pays to know your stuff if you want to uncouple as pain-free as possible.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Here to debunk the most widespread divorce myths for Muddy is leading local family solicitor Jessica Jupp, senior associate on the Family &amp; Divorce Team at <a href="http://www.ibblaw.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">IBB</a>. With more than 12 years’ experience as a family solicitor dealing with complex financial cases involving high-net worth clients, she&#8217;s an encyclopedia of knowledge. Jessica, it&#8217;s over to you. </p>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-you-can-get-a-no-fault-divorce-true">1. You can get a no fault divorce – TRUE</h3>



<p>Good news, the law changed in 2022 removing the concept of fault. It&#8217;s a big deal as this help to make divorce less contentious as now neither partner has to assign blame to prove the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.&nbsp;</p>



<p>The new law also means a divorce can&#8217;t be contested (save for validity, jurisdiction or already divorced). This won&#8217;t necessarily mean it&#8217;s cheaper &#8211; finances and children, rather than blame, are the areas where things can get costly &#8211; but it does encourage people to approach the breakdown as a joint endeavour rather than fight.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-my-cheating-ex-s-conduct-will-mean-i-get-more-of-the-assets-false">2. My cheating ex’s conduct will mean I get more of the assets – FALSE</h3>



<p>Many people look at divorce from a moral point of view, however the court doesn&#8217;t offer a judgement about&nbsp;<em>why</em>&nbsp;the marriage broke down but rather looks at what your financial relationship has been. That&#8217;s not so say someone&#8217;s conduct is never taken into account &#8211; if it&#8217;s &#8216;gross and obvious&#8217; and so serious that it would be unfair to disregard it, the court might consider it. For example, domestic abuse and any lasting injuries which prevent the victim from working.&nbsp;Financial misconduct typically involves woeful financial mismanagement or reckless and wanton dissipation of assets.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-a-pre-nup-isn-t-worth-the-paper-it-s-written-on-false">3. A pre-nup isn&#8217;t worth the paper it&#8217;s written on – FALSE</h3>



<p>Pre-nups are something more and more couples are considering. People are tending to get married later in life and often have more wealth to protect, so a pre-nups about future-proofing. It&#8217;s true they aren&#8217;t necessarily legally binding, however they can be highly persuasive in a divorce. The key is that the agreement must have been freely entered into, with all material available to both parties, no prejudice and drawn up with the support of legal advice, which is where we come in!&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-we-don-t-need-to-get-married-as-i-am-their-common-law-spouse-false">4. We don&#8217;t need to get married as I am their common law spouse – FALSE</h3>



<p>A surprisingly high number of unmarried people living together assume they&#8217;ll be as financially protected as they would if they were married, but that&#8217;s not the case. There are some claims you can make, for example if a property is jointly owned it can be quite straight forward, or if one person has made a significant contribution to a property. It would be a similar to if you&#8217;d bought a house with a friend. Unmarried couples can claim in respect of children. But the claims are more limited and are made in support of the child, meaning they can be more temporary.&nbsp;</p>



<p>So many people come to me when their relationship has broken down and it&#8217;s much stricter on what you can do from a legal perspective. It can leave people vulnerable and I&#8217;d always suggest making financial plans with this in mind, for example having a separate saving pot.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-5-being-divorced-prevents-any-further-financial-claims-false">5. Being divorced prevents any further financial claims – FALSE</h3>



<p>In order to end a financial agreement, a financial order needs to be made through the court. A lot of people don&#8217;t appreciate that. You might settle the divorce amicably and think things are fine, splitting the house equally etc, but either of you in future could make a claim against the other if you haven&#8217;t formally ended things. The risk is that one person goes on to be really successful, and a new claim is made based on what they earn at that time.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-6-a-court-can-force-me-to-pay-maintenance-to-my-ex-spouse-for-our-joint-lives-true-ish">6. A court can force me to pay maintenance to my ex-spouse for our joint lives – TRUE (ish)</h3>



<p>The Court has the power to order the financially stronger party to pay spousal maintenance to the other party for their joint lives, and until relatively recently,&nbsp; these orders were regularly granted. However, the tide has definitely turned and there&#8217;s now legislation which requires the court to consider a &#8216;clean break&#8217; to avoid any spousal maintenance payments where possible.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Some family lawyers have even suggested that such orders are now extinct since the Mills vs Mills case, which began in 2002, and finally ruled that Mr Mills didn&#8217;t need to increase maintenance payments to his former wife after she made some bad investment decisions, leaving her hard-up. It&#8217;s seen as heralding the end of the &#8216;meal ticket for life&#8217; cases and helped make London the &#8216;divorce capital&#8217; of the world.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-7-trusts-can-t-be-invaded-by-the-family-courts-on-divorce-true-amp-false">7. Trusts can&#8217;t be invaded by the Family Courts on divorce – TRUE &amp; FALSE</h3>



<p>Say one part of a divorcing couple has a trust fund &#8211; can it be pillaged by the other? Trust assets will not always be vulnerable to a successful attack by a non-beneficiary spouse. Where a family trust was established generations ago, the trust assets will likely be characterised as non-matrimonial property. This means the court won&#8217;t seek to share the trust assets between the spouses on divorce, unless the needs of the non-beneficiary spouse or any of the children of the family cannot be met from the parties’ matrimonial property alone.</p>



<p>There are cases of sham trusts, where someone might have transferred something to family or friends, trying to hide the assets, but lawyers are likely to find out if that&#8217;s happening. With full disclosure it becomes harder to hide things, but that&#8217;s not your average divorce!&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-jess-top-tips-for-a-hassle-free-divorce">Jess&#8217; top tips for a hassle-free divorce </h2>



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<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-1-surround-yourself-with-a-good-team">1. Surround yourself with a good team</h3>



<p>A good divorce lawyer (though they can have a vested interest!), friends and also people who are removed from the situation, such as a divorce coach, are invaluable. People might a divorce coach is an unnecessary expense at a costly time, however it&#8217;s worth the investment as you might find you actually spend less on the divorce as it can save you on a practical and emotional level.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-2-understand-that-it-s-a-journey">2. Understand that it&#8217;s a journey</h3>



<p>The quickest a divorce can be secured is about 6 months &#8211; nothing happens super quickly. At times that will be frustrating, at other times things will come up quicker than you&#8217;re ready for emotionally. Be prepared for that. The emotional journey is completely valid, but the legal sphere is not the place to deal with that. It&#8217;s hard to separate the two, but it&#8217;s really helpful if you can.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-3-be-prepared-to-compromise">3 Be prepared to compromise </h3>



<p>The best way to reach an agreement is compromise. Having a bottom line (your must-haves) is fine, but understand that during negotiations you&#8217;re not going to get everything you want. It&#8217;s about realising that you can probably achieve your really important goals if you&#8217;re prepared to be flexible in the other areas.&nbsp;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-4-remember-freedom-is-around-the-corner">4 Remember: freedom is around the corner </h3>



<p>Realise that once you&#8217;re through this, you&#8217;ll have the freedom to plan your life the way YOU want it to be, rather than being stuck in the loop of a failed relationship</p>



<p><em><strong>Need help with your split?</strong></em></p>



<p><em>IBB&#8217;s Family Law division offers support with Divorce Proceedings, Financial Settlements, Arrangements for Children, Wealth protection with nuptial agreements, Cohabitation disputes or Agreements&nbsp;, Domestic Abuse matters, and Family law advice for same sex couples, alongside divisions in personal and business law.&nbsp;</em><a href="https://www.ibblaw.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>www.ibblaw.co.uk</em></a></p>


Time to split? 7 major divorce myths busted

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